Hi everyone, I’m going through a really tough time right now. My girlfriend just left me a few weeks ago after 13 years, nothing bad happened, no one cheated. But or especially because of this it’s hitting me incredibly hard — not just because of the loss, but because I’m realizing how much of my identity was tied to her.
For my whole life I’ve always shaped everything I do around seeking validation and approval from others, especially from her. Making her proud was the most important thing to me, and now that she’s gone, I feel completely lost. Everything suddenly feels pointless and directionless. If I don’t do things for myself, and the person I did them for is no longer there, then what’s the point?
I’ve realized I have a deep emotional dependency and very low self-worth — I constantly looked for external validation to feel okay. Now I’m trying to understand how to rebuild myself, find meaning on my own, and develop a sense of self-worth that doesn’t rely on others.
Can anyone recommend books that helped you through something similar? Anything that deals with emotional dependence, breakups, healing, building self-worth, or finding your own sense of meaning would be greatly appreciated.
Thanks in advance. 🖤
by schollchina