Looking for something that encourages men to lean into their masculinity in a positive, emotionally intelligent way. How to be gentle. How to show up for loved ones. How to build self confidence in a productive way. I would like something that encourages man hood as it relates to identity but discourages toxic masculinity or “stoicism” or “mental toughness” as the foundation.
About as far as you can get from guys like Joe Rogan and Dr. Huberman, please.
I also really love memoirs about people going on a grand adventure or accomplishing some major feat and finding themselves, but I find a lot of them are from a woman’s perspective (Wild is one of my favorite books of all time) and would be interested in reading something inspirational from a man’s perspective as well. Not a “I did this really hard thing so it proves I’m tough” kind of story but more along the lines of “I went through hardship and came out on the other side more in tune with myself and my emotions” kind of story.
Thanks!
by TurbulentLeather8742
4 Comments
You could do worse than Bell Hook’s “The Will to Change”. Perhaps a bit academic for a general audience, it is thoughtful and resonant about contemporary masculinity, its context/antecedents, and where we go from here.
Stoicism and Huberman are not toxic.
How to Think Like a Roman Emperor by Robertson may be a good start.
I’d specifically recommend modern analyses of Stoicism for what you’re looking for. The philosophy of life is not about stuffing down emotions, but rather controlling and managing them in a healthy and regulated way. It’s akin to a Western Buddhism.
Say what you want about Huberman’s personal relationships, his work comes from a source of positivity.
For memoirs about finding oneself, I particularly enjoyed The Snow Leopard by Peter Matthiessen, an American buddhist who travels to a shrine in India along with his biologist friend.
Nick Offerman’s books may be worth a look.
I know these are fantasy but you should check them out. Here’s some fantasy novels with truly great and inspiring male characters who show how to be strong in all the ways,
Paladins Strength by T. Kingfisher (about 30% male POV)
The Curse of Chalion by Lois McMaster Bujold
I think you would love this one, it’s also funny, sweet and sad. Fully Male POV
The Temeraire Novels by Naomi Novik
All male POV, fantastic books,
plus reading Little Women and other Louisa May Alcott had some of the best descriptions of male strength in a partnership that’s equal and loving.