I’m in a relationship with a wonderful guy. He has overcome a lot and put in a ton of work to become the well-adjusted human and conscious communicator that he is. While I’ve also had to overcome some things in life, I’m now realizing that I do not know how to be in a healthy relationship. Namely, I handle conflict very poorly. It instantly makes me feel like I’m in trouble, and I navigate it accordingly. I end up not properly holding space for his emotions and I unintentionally make the conflict about how I feel. I either freeze up and say very little, or I get defensive and needy. If it escalates too far, I will spiral and cry and dig myself a hole I just can’t get out of. I can tell his patience for this is waning, and I’m honestly sick of myself. I know I’m handling conflict wrong, but I don’t know what handling it right looks like. I’ve been trying to teach myself that conflict is an opportunity for connection, but I really want/need more help to fix this. If anyone has any recs for books on this, I would be so grateful. Thank you.
by BefuddledRedhead