At the recent the Sinners & Stardust Dark Romance book convention, a male employee hired by the event was sexually assaulted, employees were verbally harassed, and many guests were flashed by another attendee wearing a strap-on dildo.
I saw a few posts about it in the romance book subs, but they were quickly locked. I think >95% of the people both in these fandoms and outside of them can agree this behavior is not good, but I've noticed that in romance book spaces, critical conversations like these are sometimes stamped out. For example, there is a blanket ban on kink shaming in the dark romance sub, but the rule gets used to ban people criticizing real world unethical or potentially illegal behavior, not just the kinks inside the fictional books. The mmromance sub had a standing ban on discussions on actual gay representation in the space to the point that in their yearly demographic, they took out the question of whether you're a guy or a girl, and even mentioning more women read/write/participate in the community will get you banned. I remember discussions on romance subs being locked down when when that hockplayer was sexually harassed, and when teen biker boys on tiktok were getting creeped on as well.
There's always going to be bad apples in any group, but its up to the rest of the group to police them, and I worry that that's not happening as much as it might need to. If a community becomes a safe space from all difficult conversations, then bad apples are left to thrive. I don't think it's fair to say this is an "all romance" issue, but the number of recent sexual harassment issues that have come out of the dark romance community is worrying, and if you know anything about the lgbt book space, you know that casual homophobia is rampant in mm romance groups.
Here's an article about the recent book convention for anyone who want to look into it more: https://smartbitchestrashybooks.com/2025/08/sinners-stardust-sexual-assault/
by AcrobaticQuality8697
2 Comments
The article you linked points out to a significant crossover between this sort of reprehensible conduct and the behaviour of fans especially those in the “real person fanfiction” community. It happened wth hockey players last year and it is happening with real people in all areas. I think a lot of people in romance book fandoms gloss over the deep ethical issues involved here. I have found the reddit romance book communities especially hostile and toxic about this stuff.. I’m glad you made this post.
Flashing strap-ons? Was it Erika Moen?
Kidding (probably.) But that doesn’t surprise me, it’s hard to get people to rally around principles in an internally consistent way, and some of these folks- like the archetypal housewife readers of Twilight and 50SoG- are reading because they don’t engage in real life spaces to express their sexuality, so it doesn’t surprise me that they’re socially maladjusted.
Cosplay has undergone a huge shift about consent & prioritizing consent; hopefully your community can do the same.