The Good Death by Suzanne B. O'Brien
I read this for 2 reasons: My local death collective had a read-a-long and I'm helping my wife's mother (90+, dementia (mix of Lewy Body and vascular), diabetes). I'm glad for the read-a-long because it made me accountable even with nutty schedules. And I'm glad I read it.
The book is in two parts – part one is facilitating a good death, part two is the good death planner. Now, I think everyone should read this book – whether they're a caregiver or not. Why? Because death is part of the process and no one gets out of here alive.
The first part is something that everyone that's a caregiver should read. Whether it's been 10 years or you're just finding out about what you're getting into. Why? Bluntly, most caregiving roles end in the death of the person you're caring for. This book is very clear and concrete in what a caregiver will be dealing with. It's particularly clear in laying out the symptoms of the most common terminal diseases (that would be chapter 4). Also, avoiding caregiver burnout (chapter 5).
In part two, O'Brien begins taking the reader through planning for a good death. And this is in all types – physical, mental, emotional, financial and spiritual. These are exercises that I think everyone ought to go through. Why? Because chance favors the prepared mind. Having a plan for how you're going to die and all the things around it (like, who do you want to bathe you?) will make things a lot easier for you and your loved ones. And if you're a caregiver, it isn't too late to discuss this with your loved one. You can at least try.
Now, after reading it I think The Good Death is golden for the first part. It's clear and concrete and up front about what's happening. The second part earns silver. It does get into the planning for death, but it feels more like work book than a guide. Still, it is an excellent book and one that everyone should read. Five stars ★★★★★.
by BravoLimaPoppa