This is why I never really considered myself a book person. I’d find a good book or a series, read it, and mourn. There’s always the downside to reading, and then finishing, a genuinely breathtaking series.
It’s a bittersweet feeling.
I get so immersed in the story, the characters, their world. And fuck, the things I’d do to be able to read it for the first time again.. And sometimes i regret ever picking up the book in the first place, because it feels so gut-wrenching when you get to the last page and that’s it. That’s it. The end.
The whole story remains stagnant, frozen and dead, and I’m trying my damn best not to throw the book in the closet in an attempt to forget it. And picking up a new one feels like moving on
Earlier this year I came across a trilogy that i finished in 3 days. A book gone, consumed in a day, or maybe i finished the whole trilogy in just 2, I don’t really remember. The sickening high of watching the story unfold only lasted for that shory period of time
The whole series, the story, that world, that escape, was gone and I was left staring at the remains. The remains of a story i happily indulged myself in, and when the story ended, i never wanted to read anything else.
Maybe an attempt to preserve it’s memory, to keep it fresh.
I have, honestly I’m not fking kidding, a horrid memory. And maybe if I read something else, I’ll be too preoccupied and immersed in that story and will eventually forget the others. And i hate to admit the strong admiration and astonishment i had for the trilogy had died down a tad bit. And I think i kinda hate myself for it because i still remember how hollow i felt after finishing the last page
I’m writing about this now because yesterday i started reading a standalone book. I finished it a few hours ago and that sickening, horrid, bittersweet, feeling is back. And I hate it because i tried to read something else but couldn’t get the words to register because for some fucking reason I feel guilty. Me reading the standalone feels like I’m moving on from the trilogy, looking for something else, looking for a new story. And as i tried to read a new one, it feels like I’m moving on from the standalone.
It’s dumb. So fucking dumb. Because there are dozens of stories that I know I’d genuinely enjoy if I allowed myself to read them. But how do I read a new story when it feels like I’m abandoning the others?? A cherished treasure now feels a distant memory as i indulge in different characters and lore.
Fuck, i hate it. And I hate how reading feels like a breath of fresh air I can only take once. And to keep the story fresh, to keep it alive, I can’t possible read another.
by Indecisive_bastxrd
5 Comments
wtf? There are more books than you can possibly read in a lifetime – finish one and move on
This isn’t a book question. There is some deeper issue here, and I mean that in the nicest way possible. You’re attaching a lot of emotion to inanimate objects.
You should look up what it means to be a Highly Sensitive Person 🙂 I have similar thoughts and often don’t finish book or tv series because I’m too emotionally invested to come to terms with the endings. It seems silly to others, like the arsehole that commented above, but you’re not alone! My husband forcing me to finish things has helped, because *spoiler alert* it’s always ok!
I totally get it. It’s like all those people become real and when you finish the book – they all die. That’s why I love really long series of books.
If you don’t read the last book, they’re all still Alive, just waiting for you….
I am nowhere near as sensitive as you, but I do understand the urge in some ways and often will put off finishing some things that I love just to wait for it – but for me it’s bittersweet, it’s like Christmas morning, you love coming down and seeing all the presents but then after you open all of them there’s that sense of strange anti-climax and sadness, and you wish you could just open them again without knowing what was in there.
I just finished an amazing book called Edith Holler and I thought while I was reading it, “this is the only time I’ll ever be able to read it for the first time,” and it made me so sad – and I put off reading the ending until this morning, I took a day off because I didn’t want it to end.
So I get that part, but not the part where moving on is bad. For what it’s worth, writers themselves don’t want you to be faithful just to their book. I know a few published authors (and have published a book myself, but nonfiction!) and all of them love to read, all of them would love and appreciate your passion but would want you to experience as many books as you could. I once went for a beer with Stephen King (and a crowd of other students) and he wanted to know what other horror writers I liked, he was excited to hear who else I was reading, and that’s typical for writers.
If that doesn’t help – there is nonfiction. Sometimes when I finish in amazing book like Edith Holler I need rest & recovery, and I want to keep the book in my mind for a while yet before moving forward. I find reading nonfiction fills the reading gap nicely.