Wuthering Heights is the most emo book I’ve ever read

I never read WH in school but decided to give it a read with the new movie coming out. I thought I was just going to finally know what the book was about beyond basic knowledge, but I feel like this unlocked an understanding of all the angsty teen girls in my youth that I did not have before.

Heathcliff is the king of the emos. If that man was born in the 90s, he would have worn skinny jeans and had swoopy hair that covers one eye and known the overly long names of every Minus the Bear song.

Catherine Earnshaw would have had a super emo Tumblr page with “whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same” as those sparkly quote gifs embedded on the page. She would have taken lots of duck face selfies from the extreme above angle and the caption on all of them would be some overly emo song lyric with ~rawr XD~ at the end.

All the other characters would’ve been stereotypical emo kids too except for Nellie Dean who would’ve been the confused mom that didn’t understand but was willing to take the kids to the mall so they could shop at Hot Topic and Spencer’s Gifts and bustle around the food court. They would’ve started rival whiny emo bands called Wuthering Heights HxC and Thrushcross Grunge that are constantly poaching each other’s bandmates.

That is my earnest review of Wuthering Heights, the most emo book that ever existed. Thank you for reading.