Long story long, I’m a 22 year old guy and lost my mom in April to complications with her liver (cirrhosis) and cancer. She was completely normal two weeks before dying, and she was in and out of the hospital for those two weeks before passing away.
Obviously, very unique and complicated circumstances, and I’m just now finally ready to start working through my grief since I’m out of the numb phase and into the “I want to feel something but still numb” phase.
I’m looking for books about grief that kinda sorta fit some specific parameters, but generally speaking, I’m looking for books about grief that have good tone, the right amount of advice and anecdote, and no religious bs nor having the focus of the grief be anything other than a parent (since I feel like the dynamic of the grief is different). Self help or memoir is great, just a book about grief that is helpful and doesn’t suck.
Note: I just finished The Dead Moms Club and thought it rocked. Was very human/kinda funny and helped me process some things thus far.
Thank you in advance 🙂
by miraclemileee
11 Comments
I admit, some of these may not fit exactly what you are looking for, but, I work in hospice, so I read a lot about grief. These are my top non-fiction suggestions; for if/when you may want to try one:
➡️ It’s OK That You’re Not OK: Meeting Grief and Loss in a Culture That Doesn’t Understand by Megan Devine
➡️ How to Carry What Can’t Be Fixed: A Journal for Grief by Megan Devine
➡️ Finding Meaning: The Sixth Stage of Grief by David Kessler
➡️ Giving Grief Meaning: A Method for Transforming Deep Suffering into Healing and Positive Change by Lily Dulan
➡️ The Grief and Happiness Handbook: A Supportive Guide to Help You Reclaim Your Life While Grieving by Emily Thiroux Threatt
➡️ I’m Not a Mourning Person: Braving Loss, Grief, and the Big Messy Emotions that Happen When Life Falls Apart by Kris Carr
➡️ Good Grief: Finding Light in the Emotional Depths of Life by Melissa Chernoe, Antje Howard, Dr. Blathnaid Carlin, et all
➡️ Grief is Love: Living with Loss by Marisa Renee Lee
➡️ As Long As You Need: Permission to Grieve by J.S. Park
➡️ The Grieving Brain: The Surprising Science of How We Learn from Love and Loss by Mary-Frances O’Connor
➡️ The Grieving Body: How the Stress of Loss Can Be an Opportunity for Healing by Mary-Frances O’Connor
➡️ Normal Broken: The Grief Companion for When It’s Time to Heal but You’re Not Sure You Want To by Kelly Cervantes
➡️ Resilient Grieving: How to Find Your Way Through Devastating Loss (Second Edition) by Lucy Hone
“Here if you Need Me” by Kate Braestrup, memoir.
“Under the Whispering Door” by TJ Klune, novel.
Firstly, I am so sorry for your loss. Totally understandable you’re looking for something less religious. Joan Didion’s The Year of Magical Thinking deals with a sudden death and its incredibly disorienting nature. I found it comforting during a difficult time.
I second, Under the Whispering Door and will add My Friends by Fredrik Backman
I think you should talk to someone- by Lori Gottlieb. It sort of addresses grief in a different way, but o really liked it. My father passed in April, and I was led to it.
Please read __*[The Rules of Inheritance](https://www.amazon.com/dp/0452298873/)*__ by Claire Bidwell Smith.
On Death And Dying by Elisabeth Kubler – Ross
If you don’t mind horror/comedy, “How to Sell a Haunted House” by Grady Hendrix deals with grief after losing both parents in a car accident. But also there’s generational trauma, differing ideas about funerals, bickering siblings, and lots of puppets.
The year of magical thinking by Joan Didion and blue nights by the same author. She lost her husband suddenly and a year later, lost her only daughter. The books are about that although I think magical thinking is more about grief. You will like these books specially if you are not religious. Highly recommend.
Also H is for Hawk by Helen McDonald who lost her father and worked through her grief trying to train a hawk (one of the hardest hobbies ever). I hope you heal. Wish you the best.
Crying In H Mart(memoir) is good. A Man Called Ove is great as well but it’s a novel about a man grieving his spouse but as someone who has lost both parents I was able to relate to it meaningfully.