Grandma, like many boomers, back in 2015 dove head first into the intersecting chasms of born again Christianity, MAGA, and conspiracy theories. Since then, it's just gotten bad. She has more pictures of Trump than of our family around her house, is currently taking Ivermectin to treat a node on her lung that isn't even confirmed to be cancer, believes the IRS will be done away with during this administration, Taylor Swift drinks babies blood, all of Hollywood is evil, consumes only far right wing media, barely east because 'everything is poison', the list goes on. She's in deep. She literally believes God himself gave her a vision of DJT in the sky, presented as the second coming of Jesus. She doesn't eat potato chips because they have a high salt content, but she smokes cigarettes. She doesn't even listen to music anymore. Woman's nuts. Love her, but she's nuts.
But the least harmful of these three pillars that now make up her personality is Christianity. I am looking for a book that will turn her faith into something more healthy, maybe? Something that inspires her to look at the world with kindness and a desire to help, as opposed to the hate and fear she feels now. It can't be too on the nose, of course, or else she would never read it. Any ideas?
by organiclawnclippings
10 Comments
Sorry about your grandma but no one saves us but ourselves and expecting someone to change is a recipe for disaster
Maybe “mere Christianity” by cs Lewis
I recommend anything by CS Lewis. He is one of my favorites authors for Faith
Tell her to actually read the bible cover to cover. These far right, not jobs love claiming that they’re doing it as what god intended, or some holy christian crusade?But end of the day, if they actually read the bible, they’ll discover that no.No they’re not aligning with that
Okay, this is coming at the whole issue sideways but here are some recs that encourage empathy and rationality that someone dug into the cult might still accept:
– All Creatures Great and Small by James Herriot
– The Warden by Anthony Trollope
– Empire Falls by Richard Russo
– To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee (seriously, this book has been doing this work on a monumental scale since it was written)
– North and South by Elizabeth Gaskell
Someone just posted this incredible thing:
u/slayer991
What we’re dealing with isn’t a lack of intelligence…it’s the psychology of identity-belief fusion.
Once someone’s belief’s are fused to identity, attack on that belief are seen as an attack on self. That’s why logic and evidence are ignored. That’s also why I don’t bother logic/evidence…now I ask questions. Questions can get past identity-defense and it flips
I don’t make assertions. Ever. Assertions get rejected because they’re heard as attacks on identity. Questions don’t. Questions shift the burden back to the person making the claim. And better? They carry the cognitive load…I don’t. It’s low-effort and low-emotional investment for me to ask questions.
For example, I don’t say there’s a conflict between MAGA and Christianity. I ask them to show the alignment.
Which teachings of Jesus inform this position?
How are you weighing Jesus’ teachings about power, enemies, and the vulnerable when you evaluate this policy?
When political goals and Christian ethics appear to pull in different directions, how do you decide which takes priority?
On ICE and immigration.
What is ICE’s primary objective in this policy… deterrence, punishment, security, or humanitarian protection?
What outcome would tell you the policy is working as intended?
How do you weigh enforcement goals against the treatment of non violent families and children?
What limiting principle prevents necessary enforcement from becoming excessive harm?
What safeguards are in place to prevent U.S. citizens from being wrongly detained during ICE operations?
If a U.S. citizen is mistakenly arrested, what due process protections apply and how quickly must the error be corrected?
What level of evidence should be required before someone is detained, and who verifies it?
How should enforcement balance speed and efficiency against the risk of detaining the wrong person?
Even simple questions to get them to define standards on sources. You know their sources are the MAGA influencers. But they trust them…so we can question that.
How do you decide which sources deserve trust?
When trusted sources disagree, what breaks the tie for you?
What would you need to see to revise your position?
The point isn’t to trap anyone or score points because I’m coming from a position of genuine curiosity (public facing…privately, I may be upset but my comments I stay cool). The goal is to stop giving them the thing they want…fuel for their outrage. It slows them down and makes them have to think. If a belief can’t survive calm questions, that tells us something without anyone having to say it out loud.
That said, the victory conditions change. The satisfaction is in every dodge, reframe, personal attacks, and ghosting of the thread because I call out ALL of those…but I do it within the frame of the conversation. For example, if someone says “you’re just a looney leftist” my response would be, “How do you know that, I haven’t asserted anything and it doesn’t answer my question.”
Finally? I don’t ask questions for them. I ask for the silent audience which makes up at least 10x of activity in any thread. I stay calm and clinical…because it also shows the difference between the typical raging MAGA and someone asking questions. If we want to shift the needle..questions do that.
Hope this helps. I have a ton of field examples I’ve pulled of these debates…and I’m working on a larger post here
The Shack!
Grandma is beyond the help of books. Please make sure nobody gives grandma a ride to vote next elections.
I don’t have much to recommend to her, unfortunately, but if you’re a reader yourself you might want to check out Escaping The Rabbit Hole, which is written by a former conspiracy theorist who was able to come back to reality. It discusses ways to help people like your grandmother.
Weird suggestion, but older books by Christian authors (before the Obama administration). I am currently reading Billy Graham’s first book, on the Beatitudes, for cultural history reasons, and I was shocked in a good way about how uncompromising he is about the old-school Christian messages of ministering to the poor, holding oneself to high standards first, loving thy enemies etc. His son Franklin is a MAGA piece of work but I would love to know what young Billy would have to say about current evangelicalism. Nothing good, I suspect.
“Having faith is believing in something you know ain’t true.” – Mark Twain
Unfortunately, Christianity indeed has harmed her, they conditioned her to value faith above all else. MAGA found a way to twist that faith to their own desires.
I don’t have an answer for how to twist her heart back to compassion, but I do have a book recommendation:
A Man Called Ove – it’s about a grumpy old man who eventually has a change of heart and finds a reason to live by helping out other people in his community. He becomes a very well liked part of his neighborhood.