Just finished this book today and I thoroughly enjoyed it, however I'm not sure how to feel and have a lot of thoughts. My review is below, with a warning before the spoilers
This book was hard to put down, for different reasons depending on what part of the book I was reading. The protagonist is very troubled, in ways I've never experienced in other books, which was interesting and added to the inability to set this book aside. Part obsessive and passionate love story, and partly a mad man's diary, this book is unlike any I've read before. If you choose to read it, be aware of the triggers if that is something that concerns you
Spoilers Ahead
To say the least, Jacob is a troubled and oftentimes unreliable narrator plagued by obsessive thoughts, rage, and paranoia. He also is inordinately concerned with his personal hygiene and fails to socialize well, leading him to read somewhat autistic, in addition to likely being a psychopath/sociopath. Because of that I found myself feeling sorry for him throughout much of the book, despite knowing of his wrongdoings. It seemed after acting badly he felt sincere inner remorse, but lacked the knowledge or ability on how to fix his behavior in the future, so his bad behavior inevitably resurfaced time and again. I was disgusted with him by the end of the book, when he watches the colonists burn, including the love of his life (Ferris) and the women he though to be his wife and their child (Jane/Caro and the baby, although I don't know if she was actually Caro at all but rather a creation formed in combination of her resemblance to Caro and Jacob's paranoia and insanity). I also don't believe Ferris ever laid with Jane/Caro, but rather spoke with her in the wood (possibly about Jacob's madness). I Jacob's tendency toward jealousy and rage made him imagine they were having an affair when he happened upon them having this discussion. And due to that delusion he could feel righteous in his anger towards Ferris and plan the revenge he so badly wanted without guilt. It wouldn't have been the first time in the book he misread a situation so badly. I also think that Jacob failed to help them not just because he was angry, but because despite his strength he was ultimately a coward
So at the very ending, when he is dwelling on Ferris' words, I felt his suffering more than well deserved. This book was an emotional ride and one I won't soon forget. The author did a wonderful job building Jacob's character in such a way that one could feel either immense pity or extreme disdain for him
Would I re-read this book? Likely not, since it's far from a happy ending. But I do think it is a worthwhile read
by cryztyne