Many people look down on self-help books and treat them like a joke. I used to think the same way too. But after actually reading a few I realized that some of the advice is genuinely helpful and can make life better. I think self-help works especially well for people who were never taught certain things growing up. Not everyone has parents, friends or teachers who talk to them about mindset or personal growth. When someone finally discovers this advice and applies it, it can genuinely improve their life.
Such as simple advice like making your bed every morning. It sounds small but it builds discipline and gives you an early sense of accomplishment. Wake up early. At first you have to force yourself and that act alone strengthens your willpower. Waking up early also gives you more time in the day and makes you feel more in control. One concept I found useful is PENAM, which stands for Parents, Environment, Nation, Associations and Media. These are the major forces that shape a person’s mindset and behavior. Once you understand this you realize why changing your environment, the people you spend time with and the media you consume can completely change your life. Reading more book, because more reading means more knowledge and better thinking. Finding your own cave, a quiet place where you can think, reflect and recharge. Digital detox, reducing screen time and social media so your mind can rest and focus.
Me too. I used to dislike self-help books but some are actually really good and can make your life better.
by Delicious_Maize9656
10 Comments
Same here, used to think they were all fluff but some actually hit different when you’re ready for it
Yes they can be good, but everything in moderation
Forgive me, darling, but if you need a writer to tell you that making your bed every morning creates healthy habits, then you function like a robot, incapable of understanding even the most basic things. That’s done out of instinct and personal hygiene.
Self-help books can be useful if you have enough critical thinking and analytical skills to extract some concepts and reinterpret them from your own perspective.
In your case, it seems you’re looking for someone to tell you exactly what to do, and with that attitude of mental laziness and existential indifference, there’s nothing to be done.
I went through that too. I was prejudiced against self-help books. Then I started reading some self-help books by Nicole Lepera, then others along the same lines, as well as others on personal organization, finance, and time management, and I simply changed my mindset. All of that helped me much more than years of therapy.
And even if one doesn’t agree with the advice, it’s helpful to consider why it doesn’t resonate. That can lead to ideas and breakthroughs too.
Guys pls drop some that you enjoyed! I really like the courage to be disliked
My biggest gripe is that lots of them is an overgrown blog post.
When it comes to useful ones I think that a lot of criticism boils down to two things:
-That book is not about me and my problem therefore it’s useless because people who might need this don’t exist
-I’m offended by some advice and won’t ever live it down (books vs Marie Kondo).
I somewhat agree. Some of the books out there work to a certain extent. Atomic Habits had some useful tips and Meditations by Marcus Aurelius, while not specifically a self-help book but it is kind of self-reflective once you appreciate how the Emperor’s journal entries reflect his internal and external state. Marcus’s own take on Stoicism which I personally admire over the conventional stoicism like that of Seneca and Xeno. But that’s just my opinion.
I don’t actively dislike self-help books, but at least with the ones I’ve read, the major takeaway is “be intentional, be disciplined, build good habits, accept and learn from failures”, and everything is just building on top of that.
Those books can, and should, just be summarized in one or two chapters, rather than whole books. With that said, I do agree with that main takeaway; not being intentional is the biggest killer of any potential might have. It leads to laziness, doomscrolling, eating junk, not treating yourself, and people around you, right.
And some people need a book to tell them that, I suppose. I suppose it just clicked for me at some point, after reading some variation of it enough times.
Granted, the books I’ve read are very general self-help books, and I can’t speak for more specific topics, about dealing with trauma or whatever else people might be reading.
I think self-help books don’t work. I think the right self-help book at the right time can be greatly helpful.
They are vehicles of diminishing returns. The more of them you have the less useful they will be. The more you read them, the less impact they have.
My advice is to really research what exactly you are looking for, make sure you pick one that ticks the boxes and then go into it with an open mind.