I’m 17 and feel kind of alone. I have things to do and I like myself when I’m by myself, however when I’m with others I hate myself because I’m akward, boring and socially incapable apparently. This is fine for now but I worry about being alone for the rest of my life. I need something to relate to and I guess comfort me.
by Mountain-Dig1228
3 Comments
heres some unsolicited advice haha – i felt that way as a teenager as well and then in adulthood i realized literally everyone is awkward boring and socially incapable so theres nothing to worry about, youll find people who vibe with you and enjoy your company just continue to be yourself and try to push past the fear of not being accepted, ive found that finding the tiny amount of people who love me has been way better than being somewhat liked by a bunch of people so ive come to appreciate that im an acquired taste lmao
just try not to isolate yourself out of anxiety or fear, itll feel like it helps and protects you but it doesnt, put yourself out there and be brave and freak out about it later haha
as far as books go, maybe check out A Psalm for the Wild Built by Becky Chambers, its about a young adult feeling aimless and miserable and starting over, finding solace in building connections with strangers
if youre up for something a bit more challenging, try The Goblin Emperor by Katherine Addison, its about a young man suddenly becoming the emperor and having to learn how to navigate something he has no training for, its about being lonely while surrounded by people who dont understand you and feeling like a fish out of water, and about trying to connect with others without truly being able to and feeling like everyone keeps you at a distance
The best part about books is disappearing into them. It’s a great tool for working through stuff, especially if you can find the right material. What kind of shows, movies, or video games are you into? Are you just looking to escape or would you like books to help grapple with your feelings?
Do you like Star Wars? The Legends books are awesome, you can start with Path of Destruction which covers a lot of with teachings and is more fun because it’s less good guy stuff. Or if you like that stuff, the X-Wing series doesn’t miss.
Like video games? Check out Dungeon Crawler Carl. It’s loads of fun, seven books, and again, doesn’t miss.
How about embracing your nerdness (ok all of these are for nerds) and checking out some epic fantasy? Mistborn and Game of Thrones (especially if you missed the show) are both super big, complex, and interesting.
I’d be happy to make other suggestions. The most important part of all three of these groups is that they all have communities around them. If you enjoy them, there are thousands of people that will discuss it with you and share your favorite moments.
Being 17 is, pretty much without exception, bullshit. I struggled with depression and loneliness too. While the Internet is awful in general, it’s a great place to make connections you might never had otherwise.
Good luck.
I don’t know what kind of books you’re into. But The Lost of Art of Keeping Secrets is a whimsical, comforting read about a slightly awkward teenager in an eccentric British family. It’s definitely joyous, and it’s all about growing up and finding new, exciting friendships and love in unexpected places.