Recently, through a conflict in my life I have realized a certain truth about myself. I lie to myself, a lot.
I would've liked to think of myself as someone who had a deeper connection with human life and suffering, but I don't. Through a lie I told to the world, a lie so fine that I believed it myself I tricked myself into believing I cared.
Simultaneously, I believed that I stood above others because I only felt empathy for the more reasonable things in life like death or heavy suffering. That people crying over small things were people who couldn't see how insignificant their problems were.
Yet when presented with what isn't even a significant issue I break, despite my initial prose of not caring or being too high to fall, I break. I'm no less vulnerable than the people around me.
I placed myself above others because I thought I cared more about wordly matters than them, believed myself superior because I couldn't be hurt or downed, but in reality I don't really care about anything other than myself. I'm fragile yet my ego is so high I trick myself into thinking I'm something else.
What I want I guess is a way for me to better understand how to feel for others and less about myself. To grow.
by SoggyBreadsSticksss