My dad died 2 yrs ago , help me find a book that will help me move on ?

So yeah I’m 25M from India and my dad died during the second wave of COVID in 2021 and I….just can’t move on. I had a complicated relationship with him. He neglected my mental health for yrs , refusing to take me to a psychiatrist,despite me suffering from depression, anxiety and mild psychosis. He sent me to cheap shitty schools while he could have easily afforded to send me to better schools. For a while ,until my first suicide attempt, he thought I was lazy and arrogant and ungrateful and what not and that that was the reason my grades were falling and why I had no friends. He improved afterwards tho and i loved him by the end and now I can’t move on. So I was hoping u good PPL could recommend a book to me that will help me move on. Thank you.
He’s just …..gone u know. Like I’m an atheist. I don’t believe in any soul stuff. And it just….it hurts that there’s nothing and that one day I will die too and everything I’ve ever done/enjoyed/thought will all be lost.

Edit : maybe i should mention that my mom has schizophrenia. Has had it since i was 11. Dad kinda neglected her mental health too. Taking her to the same useless rude psychiatrist for 10 yrs even tho she showed no improvement. It was only after dad died that i could take her to a different psychiatrist and she has improved a lot.

by mistborn_feruchemist