Here's my scenario: my wife and I (lesbian relationship of 10 years/marriage 8 years, if that will influence suggestions) have been through a lot the past several years. Lots of personal experiences that have led to pain and grief, along with shame and guilt, on both our parts.
We discovered communication was a huge issue of ours and we have been working diligently to help with that.
We both recently reached an agreement that we're not super happy as humans. Not "unhappy" so much as apathetic. And not necessarily in our relationship, but just life in general.
It is hard for both of us to find joy in the little things that used to excite us. Even (as an example) vacations. We used to plan vacations and then in the weeks approaching would be SO STOKED. Now, we're just like, "eh". I'm a teacher and used to be SO STOKED about summer arriving, and for the first time in 12 years I was just like, "eh, cool "
Activities that were once fun for us, both together and individually, just aren't fun anymore. We both independently just feel like we're floating through this life, and we don't know how to solve it or where to look. We cannot afford counseling.
We want to work on the parts of it that are affecting our relationship, but I also feel like there are some deep needs individually that we haven't been able to conquer within ourselves. And that is deeply affecting our relationship.
We want to stay together, we want to figure that part out. As of right now anyway, splitting up isn't an option we want to explore.
Does anyone have any recommendations for a book or workbook that we could read, individually or together? We do not want anything that is overtly Christian, or with strong Christian undertones.
TIA
by mariae_isme