I'm a woman, born in Korea, around 1982. My family, however, immigrated to the US when I was in elementary school. I've mostly lived in areas with a large Korean population, and have visited Korea several times. That being said, I have never lived there as an adult.
At first I was kind of confused why Korean men were so angry over this book because it's not particularly incendiary. The bar for men is set low in Korea. The kind of daily, grinding micro aggression, misogyny, and gas lighting in this book was so normalized and excused in our culture, I'm kind of surprised they recognized it as misogyny.
I think they were mad because Cho points out what a lot of Korean women already know, which is that, you cannot rely on men- not your dad, your uncle, your husband, brother, your son. They love you, but don't assume they're on your side, especially against the patriarchy (case in point, her dad after the bus incident). In the novel, it's always the girls and women in Jiyoung's life that protects and helps her out. It's her sister, her mom, her classmates, the women in the bus, her mentor, her friend who brings her the lip gloss (something that makes her feel human), the ice cream lady who offers her a job. Jiyoung's psychosis is a reflection of the everyday pain and suffering of women, but it's also her way of helping out fellow women, by sharing their stories and being their voice. I think the feminist message the men are upset about isn't "Men are bad." Cho pretty much says #notallmen after the bus scene. I think they're mad because Cho is saying we need to rely on other women, and not rely on men.
I've read reviews where some have said this book is bleak and hopeless but I think it's the opposite. Jiyoung's mom cries with shame after giving birth to a girl. Jiyoung cries with joy after giving birth to a girl. That's a big shift in just one generation.
by Anxious-Fun8829