Will Game of Thrones be what I’m looking for, or would another book/series be better?

I’ve been trying to read it and I’m personally not enjoying it so far, but I feel like I have the potential to like it later. (Disclaimer: If you love it for these reasons, that’s great! It’s just not to my taste.)

Personally I don’t mind the “dark/gritty” stuff (rape, incest, misogyny, etc.) as long as it’s written for more than just shock value and it actually adds something to the characters and plot, and also isn’t made romantic (squinting at you, Drogo and Dany).

I like dark stories with a lot of complex characters and political intrigue. Ideally most characters would be neither overwhelmingly good nor evil (but if they have to be one, in a setting like this, I’d prefer evil over blindingly noble).

What I’m looking for:

• More Cersei and Jaime and other brutally ambitious and more questionable characters than the current Jon, Arya, etc. lineup.
• More complexity and psychological intrigue to the characters.
• Less romanticizing of adult / child and rape-y relationships. (If they exist but are not romanticized and have important impacts on characters, that’s fine.)
• Faster pacing.
• Maybe a shot in the dark, but I’d love more nuanced explorations how the traumatic events of the book impact the characters’ decisions in realistic ways. I also like awful dynamics when done well.

Right now it just feels like it’s dragging and I find the Starks (minus Sansa, somehow) to be boring for my tastes, and most of the gritty stuff feels like shock value rather than an interesting component in plot/character. (Which has its appeal, just not as much for me in a long series! It’s fine if that’s what you enjoy.) I understand it may never be what I’m looking for and that’s fine. I just want to know before I invest my time into something, only to end up disappointed because I thought it was something that it isn’t. I like psychologically interesting characters more than plot and shock as the main driver. It feels like it COULD do this but I don’t know if it will.

And if you have any recs for similar books that DO meet these preferences, please feel free to share. 🙂 Thank you!