Book about growing up suicidal?

I know this is a bit niche but I’m looking for a book about someone who grew up suicidal/was suicidal for a long period but no longer is. I’m not looking for an author/main character who is complacent in self pity for the whole entire book. I’d prefer it to be on a more positive, self reflective note. A book with actual substance.

I’m 24 but was suicidal age 9-21 which changed my perspective on life and I move in the world. I’ve seen people talk about it on the internet but would love a more long form conversation of that topic that goes beyond a 10 minute TikTok.

Edit: My mental health is great now and has been for some time. I’m not sure why but I feel like I grew out of my extreme depression, it still lingers but noooowhere near what it used to be.