Hi just realised that my mother doesn't like me (I've always known but not that much) and I don't like her either but it's still unfair :/
So I don't really want a "please like me mom" kinda thing. Just a book that can hate her with me or make me think about it more to help me form a decision on how to deal with the whole thing
(btw it's kinda complicated because I know she "loves" me, but she also doesn't give a f)
And not so long too maybe 300 pages max unless it's Extremely good
So yeah. Help
by Proof_Argument8411
6 Comments
The gold standard: Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents: How to Heal from Distant, Rejecting, or Self-Involved ParentsÂ
I also liked: Children of the Self-Absorbed: A Grown-Up’s Guide to Getting Over Narcissistic ParentsÂ
I also have a mom who told me (starting around middle school), “I love you but I don’t like you.” Then she stopped saying even the “I love you” part lol. I feel ya.
Not a book, but you might want to try r/momforaminute sometime.Â
You deserved and deserve better. All children should be loved and appreciated. I’m sure you are great and any reasonable parent would be proud of you.
I’m Glad my Mom Died by Jennette McCurdy is a dang good memoir with this vibe. It’s not “Mom locked me in a basement and beat me” but it’s very relatable for those of us with subtler abuse history or who just don’t like their moms.
For fantasy, I really enjoyed Someone You Can Build a Nest In, by John Wiswell, which is funny and weird and charming and has an overarching theme of healing from and moving on from horrible moms.
And for just the human and philosophical side, I HIGHLY recommend the book On Repentance and Repair by Danya Ruttenberg, which has a lot about how to approach healing with logic and compassion. As a person who struggles with the concept of forgiveness, this was a super well-laid out discussion on what accountability and growth after a harm has been inflicted. Truly excellent book.
I also second the above recommendations of Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents.
Hugs. You deserved better. You can still choose who you want to be and how you want to show up (or not) in that relationship. Best of luck.
Mother mary comes to me i a beautiful book that holds all the complexities you are describing.
I’m sorry you’re dealing with that. My stepkids’ mom is kinda like that and it breaks my heart when they repeat the things she has said to them. None of it is true, they are great kids and I’m sure you are, too.
If you want to read something fictional along these lines, you might like Sharp Objects by Gillian Flynn. It’s pretty dark but I loved it, as someone who had dysfunctional parents and struggled with depression. The mother-daughter relationships are central to the story.
Edit to add: to balance it out, there was this book I read ages ago that had me laughing until I cried called “momma get the hammer, there’s a fly on daddy’s head.” I bet the paperback costs a dollar now.
The House of My Mother by Shari Franke