Looking for a book about being deeply traumatized in a relationship & supporting a mentally ill partner while struggling yourself

M21. My fiance is extremely mentally ill, BPD, sometimes psychosis, CPTSD. I am bipolar and CPTSD but relatively stable and in therapy and on the right medication. My fiance is not able to move forward in life or see a good future and doesn’t have any motivation to build a good life for himself and us due to depression. He has ideas, but can’t plan anything, and struggles to make sure he is going to therapy. I had to force him to go inpatient after begging him to seek help for months. I try at a certain point to stop reminding him and let him learn take care of himself, but now he hasn’t been to therapy in 4 weeks. I’ve been taking care of my alcoholic father since I was 7 (still am to this day) and just can’t be a caregiver to everybody else anymore when I am so afflicted and traumatized myself. I value communication very highly but at this point communication isn’t doing much and I need to read about radical acceptance and how to take care of myself in times like this. I am losing myself.

I really like zen & mindfulness & books that incorporate spiritualism & Buddhist ideas. One of my favorite books like this is When Things Fall Apart by Pema Chödron. Books like that would be great. Anything that touches on C-PTSD and mental illness in relationships. I love memoirs.