I need a good interior design/home decorating book recommendation that includes a how-to on decision making. Really, I need a combination of decorating and self-help. My mother is preparing to renovate several spaces in her house. I'm very excited for her–this is something she has always said that she wanted to do–but the thing is that she has no sense of direction on the project and she's too proud to admit it. I've tried to engage with her ideas and her excitement, but it is brutally unproductive because she has no idea what she wants and no idea of how to figure that out. I need a book that will gently hold her hand and tell her concrete steps that she can take to make up her mind in addition to how to style a space.
There's a lot that could be said here, but she also struggles with clutter and is eager to blame others for it rather than admit it. I include this note because it gives you an idea of why I need a book instead of helping her directly. We have the kind of relationship where she doesn't want to hear this kind of advice from me. For this project to be successful, she is going to need to do some self-reflection, and it's best she thinks that idea came from somewhere else.
My hope is to give her something concrete that will walk her through the process more gently than I would be able to do it. I want her to get her confidence back and stop being so fearful of the things that she wants to do with her space before she either (1) spends a fat chunk of change on something that she doesn't like, or (2) gives up before even trying.
by Any_Sheepherder_3564
1 Comment
tough spot to be in. i went through something similar with my mom few years back when she wanted to redo the kitchen but kept getting overwhelmed by all the choices. she’d start looking at paint samples and then just freeze up because there were too many options.
maybe look for something that breaks everything down in small steps? like those books that start with “pick one room” instead of trying to tackle whole house at once. the decision-making part is really important because some people (like our moms apparently) just need someone to walk them through the “okay, now what?” moments. books with worksheets or checklists might help too since she can work through it at her own pace without feeling judged.
the clutter thing is tricky though. those organizing books that frame it as “creating space for what you love” instead of “throw your stuff away” might work better for someone who gets defensive about it.