I’m looking for books that utterly soul shattering, but won’t leave me depressed.

I'm looking for a book that makes me feel deep feelings. I want something that will leave me feeling changed and different, or at least off my axis. But I don't want a book that is going to make me extremely depressed, then just leave me feeling that way when it's over. It'll probably need to mlbe a female author/narrator for me to feel a connection.

My favorite books, To Kill A Mockingbird and Detranstion, Baby, give me this feeling of importance and genuine deep feelings in me while I read them. And I feel more emotionally aware after I'm done.

I know this post probably sounds kinda snobbish, but the books make me feel kinda snobbish.

Thank you so much!