I’m going through a tough friendship-breakup. Long story short, I decided to end a friendship with a core person in my friend group, and it’s been difficult to accept the fact that many other people in this same group, because I am not able to explain how the core person hurt me, they have continued to be friends with this person. I never asked people to choose but they essentially did and have not reached out to me. It’s really painful to feel like these other people haven’t fought for my friendship because they have decided to avoid conflict. I’m not seeking advice on this particular situation, but rather, I want to soften my stance and better understand that conflict-avoidant people are much more the norm (I am direct and confrontational, which has really backfired here) and I hope to be more empathetic toward people seeking the more peaceful option. I would love a book that helps me understand the perspective of someone that is conflict avoidant but not malicious, if that makes sense.
by zurriola27